Is this what you would call a Marriage Paradox?

This is because society has created a sea of selfish immature young adults (and some old adults) who believe that life and marriage is all about them and what they can get out of it. Immediate gratification and narcicism is rampant. There is a sense of constant entitlement and very little sense of sacrifice. When marriage isn't fun and easy they look for the easy way out so they can move on to another quick fix. Unfortunately high pion and chemistry are always short lived. It is meant to produce bonding between "new" couples. Maturity recognizes that relationships grow beyond that. There are many perfect marriages if you get it out of your mind that perfect means trouble free. A perfect marriage exists when you have a team that supports each other through the tough times. A perfect marriage is when two people commit to fair fighting, fidelity, understanding and compion. A perfect marriage is when you put your partner before you and decide to be KIND - a behavior that is quickly discarded when it's easier to be cruel. All marriages go through the decrease of the love hormones and what seems like a sense of pion. All marriages go through major trials when finances are scarce or children demand our time and energy. However, children are an amazing blessing and worth every bit of it. But you can't be selfish about YOUR needs during this time. It is not forever. It is temporary. You recognize that it is your turn to be giving and your time will come back around again. Your comment about , communication and duty is a choice we make not an unavoidable marriage block. If divorce is an option for you, you WILL divorce because there is no marriage that avoids every problem. And working through problems is always harder then walking away from them. When children grow and leave, and you are looking at your partner you can then look back and think "Wow, we did it! Great job!Now it's our turn." Or you can look at that person and think..."Who are you?" That is up to how you fed your relationship all along. Sadly all of those couples who fail to work through their marriages also fail to ever attain that awesome relationship that has been together for 40 and 50 years. Those are true soulmates.